I was at the dog park the other night
and some dink said to me, "I see you have a crackberry."
I ask you, how should I have responded?
I am not so bold as to say this is what "should" be done in such a situation but personally I would have silently stared at him with a look of disdain and frankly I can't think of any other recommendable course of action.
Damn.
That's almost what I did.
After a silent stare, I gave up and simply nodded then walked away.
That's pretty good too I mean the whole walking away thing is great if you didn't have any particular need to be at the specific place where you were but the nodding part is not so good I think because it kind of serves as positive reinforcement to the term "crackberry", he might have thought that was ok but you just didn't want to talk to him and ideally I think you could have conveyed both those messages.
I conveyed it wasn't ok by silently staring at him without nodding for a fair amount of time indicating my lack of agreement.
He maybe could have thought you were sizing him up and deciding whether he looks cool enough to talk to!
The walking away from proves he fell short.
Right but if you stared for a while first he was probably left thinking "Damn, so close, I just needed that extra 1%, I wonder what would have done it" and probably never even consider that "crackberry" makes him sound like a complete asshole, so in conclusion:
disdainful staring = good,
walking away = good,
staring then walking away = not so good.
Listen did you ever consider this angle, what if he was actually saying "blackberry" and you just misheard him because you are so used to dealing with assholes, and he was asking about it because he was actually the humble inventor of the blackberry and was just interested in maybe learning a little about how his creation has enriched another person's life.
In that case I think we are in fact going about this completely the wrong way, I mean maybe he sees so many people with "crackberries" and he is just slowly becoming more and more horrified that his invention, which he created in hopes of bettering humanity in some small way, instead is being used primarily by assholes
and he wonders if perhaps, in fact, the blackberries might be causing them to be assholes.
So, he sees you in the park there and thinks ah, here is a regular human being, surely she will restore my faith in humanity's interaction with the creation I have unleashed. Surely she will reassure me that I am not responsible for contributing to this widespread corporate faggotry.
But his hopes were dashed that night and another small piece of his soul died as he witnessed yet another instance of the overwhelming evidence of strong correlation between blackberries and being a huge jerk. Perhaps that was the final straw, my friend. Perhaps he walked out of that dog park and straight to the nearest bridge. Unable to forgive himself for his misdeeds, unintentional though they may be, he hurled himself into the dark Canadian waters below.
A promising young inventor, only just reaching his prime. What more might he have given this world had he chosen to live? What technological marvels might we now never witness? You could have saved him, you realize, were it not for your arrogance.
Your pride killed him.
You killed him.
he said crackberry